A Distant Scream

Posted by Simes at 11:22 am
Dec 102012

Far Cry 3 is an odd game in many ways. It’s a fun thing to play, and it has an overall story, but like many open world games the experiences that stick with you tend to be small vignettes rather than the larger picture. Here are a few of them.

FAR CRY 3: Go and hunt this tiger with just a bow and arrow.
ME: That seems incredibly dangerous and stupid.
TIGER: RAWR!
ME: MY FACE!

ME: I need to go to a different part of the island which is a few kilometres away. I shall take this handy, if somewhat careworn, vehicle.
[30 seconds later]
ME: I CRASHED THE CAR AND AM ON FIRE
ME: Phew, at least I managed to put out the flaOH GOD A TIGER
TIGER: RAWR!
ME: MY FACE!

ME: Land a hang-glider atop a rickety radio tower? How hard could that be?
 [time passes]
ME: Apparently harder than one might think. Still, at least I (barely) survived the fall.
TIGER: RAWR!

ME: OK, time to sneak up and stab these pirates. At least there are no fucking tigers around here.
3 KOMODO DRAGONS: HISSSSS!

Rounding Up

Posted by Simes at 10:33 am
Oct 272011

Apparently this thing is still on. I really should write more, or at least more than “none at all”, but it’s been increasingly difficult to do anything of the kind of late (on which more later) and I was never particularly rigorous about it as it was. Still, it (re)occurs to me that it’s a handy outlet for any otherwise untargetable rage I might have about something, so at least there’s that.

Anyway. For anyone who happens to stumble across this or have it lying dormant in their RSS feed, here is a précis of the significant events which have occurred to me since my last writing here, in which I had apparently driven my car into an area without taking account of the fact that it was already rapidly becoming occupied by another vehicle. Tchah! The foolishness of youth.

Since then, in a by no means exacting list:

  • I had the car fixed.
  • Someone else drove their car into the back of mine.
  • I had the car fixed.
  • In 2010 I had three significant (i.e. lasting several hours) episodes of Paroxysmal Atrial Fibrillation, each of which necessitated a trip to A&E. Minor episodes, lasting a few seconds, occur every few weeks.
  • As a result of the above, I am taking anti-coagulant medication (in the form of Aspirin) in order to reduce the risk of  Embolic Cerebral Infarction. I should probably point out at this juncture that the risk is small, and the anti-coagulant is just to make the risk even smaller.
  • Since December 2010, I have been suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I was off sick from work from February to June of 2011 as a result.
  • I am learning to play the guitar.

So, a bit of a mixed bag, really. But, if you were wondering why I might have been more irritable or uncommunicative than usual of late, well, now you know. Learning the guitar is hard.

Well, arse.

Posted by Simes at 1:04 am
Jan 042009

I pranged the new car earlier this evening. Looks like just the front bumper’s damaged (and spotlights, headlamp washers etc.) and that is currently being held in place with cable ties. Scatter your own random selection of curses, imprecations, expletives and invectives liberally across the remainder of this page.

Hot Mage Action

Posted by Simes at 3:38 pm
Sep 032008

I’ve been trying out the new Refer-A-Friend system in WoW. And as I have no friends who are even remotely interested in WoW and yet are not already playing it, who else could I refer but myself?

Yes. I am now officially a dual-boxer.

Dualling Mages

Dualling Mages

Boy, it’s fun. I love setting things on fire anyway, so controlling two fire mages? Awesome. I can certainly see the appeal.

On the new refer-a-friend system:
My pair of diminutive pyromaniacs get triple xp when questing together, thus propelling them through levels extremely rapidly. This means you get to hit level 60 very quickly (the triple xp stops there). It also means you’re doing many fewer quests and killing many fewer things, so your characters are constantly broke and often unable to afford new skills or spells. So, although it’s good to be able to bring people in and get them to the endgame fairly quickly, the referring player ought to already have a high-level character to act as a rich patron for the two new characters.

Also, the level granting feature is nice.

Next up: twin shamans…

Big Flappy

Posted by Simes at 10:13 am
Jul 012008

Last night I came to the end of a long(ish) rep grind and obtained my well-deserved prize:

[Reins of the Purple Netherwing Drake]

After a brief period of celebration, I am wondering what to do next.

Lyrical Lunacy

Posted by Simes at 12:37 pm
Jun 242008

Another in our occasional ongoing series exploring just what the hell songwriters are jabbering on about, and what, if anything, can be done to bring their output a little more in line with reality.

Today: Arthur’s Theme, by Christopher Cross.

We’re going to concentrate on the chorus for this one, as it is here where much of the madness may be found. I will run through it with you line by line.

When you get caught between the moon and New York City

Seems somewhat unlikely, but it’s early days yet. We move on.

I know it’s crazy, but it’s true

Well, I suspect you’re half right, Chris.

If you get caught between the moon and New York City

We seem to be building up to something here. Given the circumstances outlined so far, can it be anything other than unpleasant?

The best that you can do…

Is…

The best that you can do…

Get on with it, man.

Is fall in love.

Now. Here I really have to take issue with him. The whole thing completely comes apart at this point. For one thing, falling in love, even under ideal circumstances, is not exactly easy. In the situation where one is trapped between the surface of the moon and the sidewalks of New York it’s surely next to impossible, even if one were trapped right by a suitable candidate and they were not too busy screaming in agony to pay attention to one’s amorous advances.

Additionally, if the moon is sufficiently close to the surface of the Earth to trap people underneath it, then a disaster of monumental, nay, epic proportion is currently under way and thoughts of anything other than survival should be far to the back of one’s mind. If, however, one is among those trapped, there is surely little one can do but hope that the end comes quickly.

Therefore, I propose that the last few lines of the chorus be replaced with:

If you get caught between the moon and New York City
The best that you can do
Is pray for a swift and relatively painless death

We can probably leave the crazy part the way it is.

Holiday

Posted by Simes at 10:34 pm
Jun 222008

It may well be that it’s only once you’re on holiday that you realise how much you really needed one. On the other hand, it may not.

Either way, I just had a most splendid week on the west coast of Scotland with some of my lovely friends. There was wine, a trip to Skye, several games of Mwahahaha!, wine, fresh seafood, Rock Band, beach walks, wine, great food, congenial company, golf, wine, Hot Death Uno, the Jacobite Express, wine, table tennis, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and wine. There was also wine.

Sometimes it rained, but also, sometimes it didn’t. All in all, the weather was pretty decent.

The view from the third tee at the Traigh golf course is little short of spectacular. Of course, I didn’t take any pictures of it, having inevitably left my camera at home, but it is.

I feel there should be more words to encompass an entire week’s holiday, but there we are. It was great, and I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Huh

Posted by Simes at 9:13 am
May 272008

I guess one of the supposed benefits (and there are precious few) of being ill is that it gives one time to muse, and to think deep thoughts, to ponder upon the nature of existence and the meaning of life. To consider the universe and one’s place within it. To come, in short, one tiny step closer to attaining understanding.

What actually happens, of course, is that you spend quite a lot of the time musing on how much of a pain in the arse it is to be ill, particularly on a bank holiday weekend when you had plans which you’ve had to cancel because you can’t climb the stairs without needing to take a break once you reach the top much less spend the day running around a field in Northamptonshire with a gun even though you booked and a bunch of your mates are going and you bought the camo gear and everything.

The rest of the time you don’t spend thinking about very much at all, because thinking is so very tiring.

Then you think about how you hardly ever post on your blog except to whinge about being ill when you’re ill.

Then you go for another lie down.

It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, being ill.

Bah

Posted by Simes at 12:34 am
May 242008

This cold/flu/virus/whatever can just bite my ass.

That is all.

Back in Azeroth again

Posted by Simes at 12:59 pm
May 202008

It seems that the new content in the Sunwell Isle patch was just too much for me to resist, so I have once more returned to World of Warcraft. No doubt I will get fed up with it again and leave again, only to return again when Wrath of the Lich King comes out. And thus the cycle will continue until one of us is dead.

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