I have to say that the new Band Aid single is one of the most unpleasant collections of noises to assault my ears for quite some time, and given that it's the Christmas season that's no small feat. It sounds like Stock Aitken Waterman at their absolute worst.

Such a collection of thin-voiced, soulless, spiritless, talentless corporate puppets as might only have been previously found at the Smash Hits poll-winners party. They must have had to reinforce the walls of the studio, lest the tremendous talent vacuum cause the building to implode.

Although, hearing them, they clearly have an opinion of their talents that way outstrips the lamentable reality. So perhaps the ego pressure was enough to prevent such a catastrophe.

Which is a shame, really, when you think about it.