I have to say that the new Band Aid single is one of the most unpleasant collections of noises to assault my ears for quite some time, and given that it's the Christmas season that's no small feat. It sounds like Stock Aitken Waterman at their absolute worst.
Such a collection of thin-voiced, soulless, spiritless, talentless [...]
You put in a lot of hard work. You saved up your pocket money for ages and ages, took your old fiesta and worked and worked on it until it is now a thing of such beauty and wonder that mere words are unable to describe it:
But still there's something missing. You're still just not [...]
Under the heading of Leading By Fear.
I have formulated a theory; you can tell how hung over you are by your choice of listening material for the drive home.
Yesterday, mine was Gardener's Question Time. Make of that what you will.
The first in an irregular series of “posts titled with spam subject lines”.
I just liked the image evoked by this one.
Sometimes it's the small victories which help you get through the day. You've had a hell week, software rollout the previous weekend, major problems just before and a wave of bug fixes afterward. You're tired and fed up and desperate for a holiday, and that lottery win just keeps eluding you.
But then you drop the [...]
Just a few hours in to GTA: San Andreas now, but I've already seen two of the new features which are bound to send the indignation meter through the ceiling.
They are housebreaking (which you have to do as one of the early missions, and can then optionally do when you feel like it) and pimping [...]
Inspired by Bill Bailey's bit on Fifty Things To Do etc. (”Lunge wildly at the Pope!”) and a subsequent conversation with Paul about Fifty Dull Things, I thought I'd kick this one off with my five.
Alphabetise your underwear.
Watch the film “A.I.”. Dull, dull, dull.
Individually number your back hairs. Ask a friend to help!
Arrange your CD [...]
Picture it, if you will. Poor old Dave. He's basically a decent bloke, but he has the misfortune of being the one decent bloke in an entire race of arboreal killing machines.
I imagine Dave's day to go something like this:
Dave: Morning!
Other Triffids: HISSSSSSSSSSS!
Dave: *sigh*
(Later)
Dave: Hello there!
People: AIIIEEEE! A TRIFFID! RUN!
Dave: *sigh*
There are estate agents who will try to sell you flats in London. There are also estate agents who will try to sell you “Executive Apartments in the Heart of the City”.
How to tell the difference?
If it's a flat, there will be a picture of the building. If it's an “Executive Apartment”, the picture [...]