A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, a phone is ringing. The shop assistant answers it.
Assistant: Hello?
Caller: Hi, yeah, this is Anakin Skywalker here, I was wondering if you could help me out with something.
Assistant: Sure. What do you need?
Skywalker: Well, it's like this, OK? I've basically decided to turn to the Dark Side of the Force, right? And believe me, Obi-Wan was none too happy about that, I can tell you. He kicked my ass so hard I had to have it replaced. I have a prosthetic ass. Have you any idea how much that sucks?
Assistant: No, sir, I don't.
Skywalker: I didn't think so. Anyway, I had to have a load of prosthetic work done, as well as the ass, and as I was going with the whole Dark Lord of the Sith thing anyway, I decided to combine my respirator with a cool mask, you know? Make me look really scary. And it does. The only problem there is when I speak. I sound like a whiny teenager, did you know that?
Assistant: That was coming across, sir, yes.
Skywalker: Right. Right. So I'm supposedly this big bad dude, but I sound like a whiny teenager. And the mask doesn't help, because all that does is make me sound like a whiny teenager with a large saucepan on his head. So, long story short, I was wondering if you had anything in the voice modulation area that might make me sound a bit cooler.
Assistant: James Earl Jones?
Skywalker: Kick ass!
[IMPERIAL MARCH PLAYS]
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